Ockham's razor
by Misura
Summary: Obviously, Kaiba asking Joey on a date is just part of a dark and twisted plot. And naturally, his best friends have some ideas on how to react.


Ockham's razor

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Warnings/notes : sparkle of Seto/Joey that's quickly smothered, Otogi, Honda, sprinkle of Mai/Anzu, drabble-ish shortie, silly, insulting language.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 2nd july 2004, by Misura, to wish Aftertaste of a Razorblade a 'Happy birthday!'.

[Edit: changed the title back. Thanks to Darkest Aphelion and Sarasusamiga for pointing it out to me.]

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The one advantage to having lunch with the likes of Honda and Joey, Anzu considered, was that it was very easy to spot them. Their voices were normally loud enough to be heard from the other end of the room.

As usual when Otogi and Joey were sitting at the same table, there was an argument going on by the time she arrived. What -was- slightly surprising today was that the discussion seemed to be between Otogi and Honda, rather than Otogi and Joey. The topic of their fight appeared to be a note, lying in the middle of the table.

"He should smack that jerk good and tell him he's not going to play this sick, little game," Honda roared, glaring at Otogi, who snorted.

"What good would -that- accomplish? I say he should go along, pretend he's let the bastard sucker him. Then he can strike back, turn the tables on him and come out as a -victor-, instead of just a loser who's scared of a direct confrontation." Otogi crossed his arms over his chest to stare at Honda.

"Hey, are you saying I'm a - " Joey began, jumping up, before he noticed Anzu. "I'm -not- scared of the guy," he amended, making an effort to sound calm. After another look at Anzu, he snatched up the note, his eyes daring her to protest.

"Do I want to know what this is all about?" Anzu inquired.

"Kaiba asked Joey out on a date." Honda sounded disgusted. Joey looked slightly uneasy, Anzu noted with some interest, though it was hard to tell whether it was because of the invitation itself, or because of Honda's obvious disapproval.

"Correction: Kaiba -pretended- he had an interest in dating Joey," Otogi interrupted. "I think we're all agreed on it being just a twisted joke."

"Why? Because you think nobody'd could be serious about wanting to date -me-?" Joey demanded heatedly.

"No, you fool! Because Kaiba's always picking on you. Not really the kind of thing he'd do if he had a crush on you now, is it?" Honda rolled his eyes.

"Although - " Otogi swallowed the rest of his words abruptly. Anzu wondered how hard Honda had kicked him.

"I'm telling Joey he should just ignore the creep, but Otogi thinks he should play Kaiba's game," Honda sighed.

"At least for a while," Otogi clarified. "To see how far Kaiba intends to go. Knowledge is power after all."

"You mean he should see if Kaiba wants to -kiss- him or something?" Honda didn't say 'Ewwww', but he might as well have. "That's gross!"

"Kaiba'd never kiss someone for no better reason than to fool them into thinking he cared. He's not the type," Joey stated. Three pairs of eyes were turned in his direction. "What? It's true!"

"I must admit that this whole date-thing sounds a little bit ... far-fetched," Anzu mused.

"Yes," Otogi agreed. "After all, we all know one -look- from Kaiba is enough to get Joey all riled up. Why bother wasting a note on it?"

"You mean ... Kaiba actually -asked- -Joey- on a -date-?" Honda frowned. Anzu wanted to cheer.

A moment's silence, in which Otogi stared at Honda, Honda stared at Joey, and Joey stared at ... the food on his plate. Right. Anzu sighed.

"Nah, that'd be crazy." Honda shook his head.

"I think you should go along with him, to figure out what he wants," Otogi put in.

"No, no, he should make it clear to that ... that jerk that he's not falling for a trick like that," Honda argued.

Anzu rose, deciding she'd join Yugi and Ryou for lunch after all, and too bad for them if she interrupted their 'private moment'. If she'd have to listen to this for one more minute, she'd surely go insane.

"Boys! Am I glad I'm not dating one!" she muttered, briskly striding away.

Joey stared at Honda. "Did she just say ... ?"

"She's probably only in a bad mood because she doesn't have a boyfriend to date yet," Otogi remarked sagely, with the air of someone who's an expert on the subject of girls. "Or maybe it's -that- time."

"Anyway, I say you pretend you never got that note," Honda spoke up, returning Joey's mind to the original topic of their conversation.

"And -I- say ... " Otogi began.

-----

"So ... what happened in the end?" Mai inquired curiously.

"I have no idea," Anzu admitted. Well, she did have -some- ideas, of course, but if they were correct?

"Hmm, I think Kaiba got what he wished for. Say what you want about him; he usually gets things his way. And judging by what I've heard from you, he's pretty much determined to get Joey." Mai smiled.

"After having made 'annoying Joey' his favorite pastime for over a year," Anzu grumbled. "He could have simply said he liked Joey from the start."

Mai shrugged. "He's a guy."

"So is Yugi, and -he- at least is perfectly sensible," Anzu retorted.

"Yugi's special, the exception to the rule. And he's got taste too." Mai winked at Anzu. "I'd almost feel guilty about taking you away from him."

Anzu blushed, then laughed.

-OWARI-


End file.
